A Price to Pay
by death.by.shuriken
Summary: I'll give Sakura to you but in exchange, you've got to give yourself to me for one night. And you've got to like it. SasuNaru
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hope you like it. SasukeXNaruto. SasukeXSakura. And some NarutoXSakura angst. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go whoop my bro's ass at a good game of squash. That's right... I play squash.

Disclaimer: The normal gobbledy-gook... I don't own it. I don't dream to own it (That might be a lie but I'm not going to admit it.) And Seeing as I don't own it, I don't profit from it either.

Warnings: Slight OOC. I hate to admit that but regardless... and keep in mind that this is a few years after the Naruto II arc... so our blond kitsune is a bit more mature.

_A Price to Pay_  
By; Death.by.Shuriken

I stared at her because that's all I could really do. She made me feel helpless. She made me feel giddy. My IQ dropped exponentially when she was around. God, she was so beautiful and oblivious to the charm she held on me. If I could give her her every whim; pluck the stars out of the sky and give them to her, I would. But I knew that in my heart of hearts, if there was anyone in the world that she would rather have give her the stars, it would be Sasuke.

How I fell in love with her was perhaps my own carelessness. I knew that she was selfish, I knew that she was impulsive and her anger was not womanly at all– but then, what anger was? She didn't have a way with words. She didn't have a woman's charm. She had her charm. A force, an energy that was entirely hers. It wasn't a woman's or a man's. It was just hers. And it filled up the room that she stood in like it filled my dreams. It tantalized my senses and it mocked me, leaving me unfulfilled and aching with the emptiness of it.

I figured that the way to forget her was to find a side to her that was not so charming. A side that would disgust me and would repel me. Like a wart, or ugly feet or something– anything. Unfortunately, my quest to find something undesirable about her made me realize that there was absolutely nothing about her that I didn't dislike. She was flawless and the more that I revealed, the more I began to love her.

Most people think that I hide behind a mask of tricks and stupidity and I do, but when I'm around Sakura, my act turns real and the lines between fact and fiction blur somewhat. She makes me do dumb stuff. It really started out as a way of getting her attention but it became habitual. Eventually, it was all I could really do to get her attention and for that, I cursed myself. I had tangled myself in a web that I could not possibly get myself out of.

I keep recalling her face all bright and sparkly as she saw Sasuke for the first time in three years. I wished that she looked like that when I came into view but I received a grateful smile from behind his shoulder. I should have been thankful really, but I wasn't. It left me feeling empty to the core.

That had been a few years ago. Since then, she had finished her training and was a successful medic-nin. I had heard that she was said to be even more powerful than Tsunade-sama which I could believe if that was what Sakura had intended. When she wanted to do something, she did it regardless what grief it brought her. She did it because she knew that she could. She got better because she knew she had to in order to save her precious Sasuke.

I have sat back on the sidelines and watched as Sasuke has made a mess of things. He was always too selfish for his own good but then, so was Sakura. I know from experience what happened to selfish people when they got together. I had seen it first hand, through the eyes of Jiraiya and Tsunade who had stopped being on civil terms a long time ago. People don't realize how observant I really am. I guess Kakashi had rubbed off on me more than people would know.

I knew that things wouldn't have been stellar between the two of them the moment they hooked up. There was more than one time that I had Sasuke at my doorstep, sullen and angry because Sakura had tossed him out in the heat of her passionate indignation. Sasuke didn't bother to explain it and I didn't bother to ask, I knew I'd get details in the morning from Sakura. Tsunade has been keeping me around to learn the ropes, so to speak. I figure that it has more to do with the fact that she had exhausted her gopher resources and had to resort to desperation, obviously. I always made sure to put too much sugar or too much cream in her coffee just for good measure.

Tonight was one of those nights. I was sitting on my porch with my feet dangling stories above the vacant street. Sasuke lay on my couch, simmering in his anger. I'm sure he wanted me to ask him what had happened this time so he could fling some particularly nasty barb at me but I wasn't feeling in the mood to act out the charade. Let him stew.

I took a deep swallow of the chilled sake that I had kept buried in the back of my freezer for these type of occasions. Most guys our age were already working on their first kid with a pretty little wife in a quaint house. I know that Shikamaru was, so had Chouji and Neji. Dammit, even Chouji was getting some!

"Hey... Sasuke..." I called from the porch, leaning back slowly and feeling my abs bunching as I stopped in mid sit up position and let my head loll back to look at him. Giving him my squinting, fox look that I knew annoyed him, I asked, "How did Chouji get a wife and I don't?"

"Because you are stupid." Sasuke grunted, tearing his eyes from the book he was reading to glare at me.

I let that baleful glare slide off of me and I sat up to take another drink. Chouji's wife was an awesome cook, in fact I had the opportunity to have dinner with them one night and her cooking floored me. She was pudgy, just like him which made it sort of obscenely cute. She had a cheerful, round face, a button nose and a pair of friendly brown eyes. Chouji had said it was love at first sight.

"If I'm stupid then I don't know what you are." I said darkly into my cup of sake before quaffing it.

"What did you say, dead-last?" Sasuke growled. From the sound of his voice, he had been standing directly behind me when I had said it.

I looked up and saw him looming over me, his eyes dark and narrow with anger, "I said that if I'm stupid, then I don't know what you are. Get your hearing checked, you ass."

I saw the blow come but the alcohol had made my reaction somewhat sluggish. I only half blocked it, his fist grazing off of my elbow and scrapeing along my cheekbone and ear. I leaned back as his body followed through with the hit and slammed my knee into his stomach in one sinuous movement. I heard the air push out of his lungs in one satisfying whoosh. "Bastard."

"That's my line." I said calmly as I rearranged myself again and let my legs hang back over the edge of the balcony. I offered him the bottle after taking a healthy swig of it. He eyed it as if I had spat poison into it. "It's from Jiraiya's own stock."

I felt a tinge of self-pity as I realized that I was single, getting drunk in my apartment with the man who was all but married to the girl of my dreams. A man who didn't appreciate her as much as she deserved. A man that was an ungrateful bastard who deserved an ass whooping but had gotten into my liquor instead. How the hell did this happen? It seems that fate is not without a sense of irony.

"You don't deserve my friendship, you know that bastard?" I eyed him with disgust as he took a swallow of the bottle of sake. I was feeling jealous, angry and I wanted to hoard what little good I had from this pompous ass that had taken most of the light from my life. "I came and got your sorry ass when you were getting it kicked by Orochimaru and I helped you kill your brother and what do you do? You steal my woman."

"I didn't steal your woman, stupid. She came to me."

"And if you had a decent bone in your body, you wouldn't have screwed with her. But here you are, sitting on my balcony, drinking my alcohol. You think that you are gonna go back there tomorrow and she'll accept you back."

"She probably will." He smirked at me, handing me the bottle back. "She knows it and I know it. You might as well accept the plain fact; she's crazy for me."

"I should have let Orochimaru have your sorry ass." I snarled, the anger and resentment I felt for Sasuke, flaring anew. God I hated this man so much that I would have tossed him off the balcony if I knew he wouldn't land on his feet.

"I agree." Sasuke said darkly, still not moving from his position beside me.

I wanted away from him and I knew that he wouldn't leave because he derived too much pleasure in making me angry— which I admit, is really easy to do nowadays. At least now I was able to keep the Kyuubi from exploding out and wrecking his face, which was a whim I was contemplating. "You know, I don't know why I put up with your bullshit. I should toss you out on your ass as quickly as she does."

Sasuke padded into the living room, from what I could tell he didn't seem much affected by my words but then, he never had been before. He pulled out a huge bottle of cheap sake and came back out onto the porch and settled down beside me. "Here." He opened it and gave it to me.

"You think you are gonna pay back what you owe me with a cheap bottle of sake?"

"Take it as you will."

I took the bottle and my eyes never left his as I lifted it to my lips and let the bitter, disgusting liquid spill into my mouth and burn a path to my stomach. With the Kyuubi's unparalleled regenerative skills, getting drunk was always an expensive and deliberate task that took many hours. I wasn't worried about getting drunk, I could burn it off in a moment's notice. "You know, if you were going to make the attempt, you should have bought a more expensive bottle. I always knew that you were such a stingy bastard." Jiraiya had a bad affect on me. With the priceless combat skills he had taught me, I also learned to yearn for the taste of fine women and fine sake. There wasn't a night that went by that I didn't curse the old man in some way. Especially on those nights that my body seemed inconsolable to the touch of the girlfriend-of-the-minute and the Kyuubi's taunting laugh ringing in my ears.

I eyed Sasuke as he took his first real swig of the liquor. It was incredibly unhealthy and probably a bit irresponsible, but I'm sure that he had his own reasons for what he was doing. He set the bottle down carefully and grabbed the bars of the balcony railing, looking as if he was about to rattle the bars of his cage.

"You are a son-of-a-bitch, Naruto." Sasuke growled, tearing his eyes away from the rooftops of Konoha to glare at me.

I grinned into the mouth of the bottle, the liquor didn't taste as bitter as it once had. "That's me, you no good bastard."

He laughed, it sounded dry and raspy. Painfully barren of anything humourous. "God, I hate you for what you've done to me."

I found myself curious by this remark. He was already affected by the cheap liquor that he had drunk earlier this evening before he had come here and I suspected that he hadn't had anything to eat today, either. Despite my curiosity, I found myself reluctant to voice it. Somehow, I sensed that if I did, I would be entering the yawning chasm of whatever Sasuke was falling through.

He took another swig and stared moodily out over the village, his eyes were starting to narrow in on the landscape. Had his remark been about his regret of his forcible return to Konoha? I wondered idly on it but still felt a little apprehensive on any embellishment on Sasuke's behalf.

"You know, I wouldn't hate you so much if I knew you were treating her well." The words spilled out of my mouth, unbidden and unwelcomed. I grabbed up the bottle and took a deep swig, abolishing a good quarter of the liquid inside before setting it down.

Sasuke still hadn't bothered to look at me and somehow I felt a spark of hope that he hadn't heard me. I knew that that hope was just a lie, that Sasuke was just assimilating what I had said in the drunken fog of his mind. He was far too gone for rapid witticism– not that Sasuke had ever been good at it. "She nags. She nags and nags and nags at me. I can't stand it. She nags at me from sun up to sun down and when I dream, I dream of her nagging at me." He said bitterly, pouring more of the cheap sake down his throat.

"Then why are you with her?" Somehow, I felt happy by this revelation. Maybe because I had already gleaned some hope in getting Sakura out of Sasuke's clutches.

He laughed as if it was the funniest thing I had ever said. He laughed a laugh that made me shudder because it seemed obscene coming from his mouth. This was a mouth that never ever laughed and had very rarely smiled. Sure, I had heard him laugh once a long time ago when he was caught in the thrall of Orochimaru's power, but that had been a high, shrilly, evil thing that had pricked at my nightmares for years to come. His laughter was one that made me want to laugh with him. It was infectious and warm. I found myself smiling stupidly at his mirth but knowing that I was somehow the butt of his joke. "What?"

"You are so stupid!" He said this between rib cracking peals of laughter. After a while, he had himself under control and rested his forehead against the cool bars. I didn't bother to say anything to him, I was actually losing my patience with him. I stood up and stared down at him. "Don't drink much more. I don't want to explain how you died of alcohol poisoning on my porch."

There wasn't much left in the bottle to begin with. While Sasuke had been trying to get his laughter under control, I had attempted to finish up as much of the alcohol as I could stomach. I left him maybe a mouthful. I speared him with one more glance before walking into the living room and turning off the lights, leaving the television on but the sound down low. If he drops off a balcony, which I hoped he would, at least I'd hear him when he hit the pavement.

I crawled into bed, straightening out my comforter and prying a pillow out from between the mattress and the wall. I felt the alcohol like a warm fire in my stomach, slowly spreading across my skin. As sleep gently took me, I recalled hearing a soft laugh echoing from my open window. I could have sworn it was Sasuke's but then, I was really too tired to care.

Sometime during the night I was awoken by something. I couldn't describe what it was but I had reached for the kunai that I had always kept underneath my pillow. I peered around the room, it was empty and then I remembered that I wasn't the only one in my apartment. Wondering if Sasuke had finally gotten so drunk and fallen of the porch, a tragedy for sure, I pulled myself out of bed to investigate.

I stepped cautiously through the hall with my back against the wall and the kunai up to protect my vitals. Sidestepping, I slid into the room under the cover of shadows and instantly eased up. Sasuke was sleeping on the couch, the bottle of liquor on the coffee table. It had been the door that he had left open, it started banging against the wall in the wind. I sighed with a mixture of relief and disgust for Sasuke's carelessness before closing it. I pulled the blankets that Sasuke had kicked at the bottom of the couch, over him and instantly, his shivering stopped. The idiot would be hurting in the morning. On the table I placed a big glass of water and a few tablets for the headache that would most certainly plague him in the morning. Although I shouldn't have cared, it was habit.

Grabbing myself a glass of water, I trailed back into my bedroom and replaced the knife underneath my pillow. I sat up and watched my fingers through the glass warp as the liquid swirled within. It was a small training habit I had gotten myself into to swirl water in the glass when I wasn't drinking it. This habit came at the expense of many broken glasses and plenty of bandages, but it was worth it.

I was snapped out of my mini-training as the phone rang. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table which blinked two-thirty before I picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Naruto... it's me, Sakura." Her voice was soft and thick, I could tell that she had been crying.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Is he there?"

I let out a slow breath as my anger pricked a bit. "Yes, he is. He drank himself to sleep." I would say anything to discredit the bastard so when opportunity arose, I took it.

"Is-is he... in a lot of pain, Naruto?"

"Sasuke is Sasuke, Sakura. You of all people know this. He's always agonizing about something." I laughed and wondered when there wasn't a time that he wasn't brooding over something or other. Although that statement was exactly true in this case, somehow I sensed that he wasn't being entirely true to his nature. From what I had gathered by our earlier conversation, he just really didn't care about her.

"Naruto..." I could practically hear the tears in her voice as she spoke, "I don't want to love him but I do... I love him so much that it makes me sick inside. I wish there was a jutsu for this, something that would make me forget him. I wish that it was that simple to just leave him and move on."

I sighed, this was the usual conversation every time Sasuke ran out on her, "Listen, I've said this to you before but it's never going to be easy. You've got to be strong. He doesn't deserve you, Sakura. You deserve someone better than him." Someone like me, I mentally added. The first time I had said something like this to her, she had gotten so angry that she hadn't spoken to me until the second time he ran out. The second time I said it, she tearfully admitted it and that had been a drama that lasted a few hours on the phone at the crack of dawn. I had my suspicions that she had been drinking but I never bothered to find out.

"But I can't imagine my life without him. I've lived with him for so long... I can't tell where I begin or end anymore... it all just blurs into him." I sighed again– I had been doing a lot of this, lately. "Listen, I've got a mission tomorrow and I have some sleep before I'm out."

"Oh... okay."

Don't ask my why I had cut our conversation off short. Maybe it was because tonight I was in a particularly selfish mood and didn't want to hear about her problems with Sasuke. What about my problems? What about all the times I woke up with her name on my lips? The smell of her hair and the feel of her body taunting my fingertips.

When I put the reciever down, I looked at the clock and groaned. In another two hours I would have to be up and about, ready for patrol. Hopefully, when I got back Sasuke would be gone. Somehow I doubted it.

"Was that Sakura?" His voice was like the soundtrack to the shadows that hugged the walls of my room. I looked up calmly, suddenly aware that he had been in the room for most of the conversation. Obviously he hadn't had as much to drink as I had intially suspected, either that or he was a light sleeper. By the looks of things, I was willing to bet on the latter.

"Yes." I got back under the blankets and made myself comfortable, showing my back to him to indicate that discussions with Doctor Naruto was over for the day.

"She sad?"

"What the fuck do you think, Bastard?" I snapped, throwing him an angry look over my shoulder.

He stood leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. "Of course she is... since she loves me so much."

"Whatever, Sasuke." I muttered, hoping that he'd go away so that I could at least get an hour's sleep before I had to be up and moving. When I realized that he still hadn't budged from the doorway, I added, "I've got a mission in an hour so if you don't mind going away so that I can get some sleep, I'd appreciate it."

He was on top of me before I could react. My lower body was still in its original position but my arms and shoulders were pinned against the mattress by his hands. With his face just inches from mine, he whispered just above the rushing beat of my heart in my ears, "I'll give Sakura to you but in exchange, you've got to give yourself to me for one night. And you've got to like it."

Did my ears deceive me? Was I just propositioned by the great Uchiha Sasuke? It took a moment for the reality of my situation to set in. "What the hell are you doing?" I broke his grasp and punched him with all my might, which wasn't much considering that I hadn't put much momentum into the hit.

"Don't make me repeat myself." He snarled before stalking out of the room.

Needless to say, I didn't sleep so well for the remainder of the night.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thanks a million, trillion times to those who reviewed. You guys are awesome. Sorry for the cliffhanger. I hope you guys are okay. I promise not to make you wait too long. I wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone sulking themselves to death. ;) Keep reviewing, it only gets creative juices flowing and the words out quicker.

_'Bla' gets DBS's honourable mention for the best use of cut and paste. There is no room for intolerance and censorship in art, regardless of its form; writing (fanfiction), painting, photography, etc. Being intolerant only makes me feel sorry for you._

Disclaimer: Don't own it! Don't sue!

Warning: Bit of poetic license abuse.

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_"He who has a thousand friends  
Has not a friend to spare,  
While he who has one enemy  
Shall meet him everywhere."  
-_Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Chapter Two 

I slipped out of the apartment at dusk. My eyes felt gritty, an indication that I hadn't had enough sleep. I pushed away my grogginess and donned my mask and cape. Away from the comforts of roads, buildings and the everyday things that people take for granted, there wasn't much for one to think about. I concentrated as best I could on the task at hand. From earlier reports, there had been a band of missing-nin in the area, harassing the caravans that came and went from Konoha. Maybe that would distract me.

It didn't. I had polished off three of them and the other two in my squad had finished the rest off. We kept going into the outlying woods, farther away from Konoha. Sasuke's words sat like a heavy rock in the back of my mind as I sliced my way through bandits. It was just a regular hunting task, nothing of serious note. Since the Akatsuki and Orochimaru had been scattered, there hadn't been much of an internal threat; just the regulars from Rock and the missing-nin. It was like a rat cull, we killed them just to keep the population down but there were always others to take their place.

"We are done." The leader said who I knew was Shikamaru but never would acknowledge it. We all nodded in unison. "Scatter and be back here tomorrow."

Gathering by the shadows, I could tell it was late afternoon. I would have time for a shower before I would have to go play office assistant for Old Lady Tsunade. She called it my apprenticeship. I called it bullshit.

I chose to shower at the Hokage's dojo after stashing my mask and cloak in the satchel I usually carried on me. It was shocking how secretive the ANBU was. Outside of your own three teammates, you didn't know who was who. It was all cloak and dagger. So impersonal. When ANBU died no one knew the specifics, not even other ANBU. Family members were told that they were killed on a mission, but there was never any details.

Old Lady Tsunade was busy, as usual. I had to copy down a million names and descriptions which I have to admit helped my handwriting improve considerably. I wrote until my back creaked and my fingers were getting cramped. Finally, when dusk had settled and my stomach was making too much noise for me to go on, I begged off and stopped by Ichiraku's for food.

Iruka was there. He was always there at this time of the evening. Maybe because our schedules had synced that way or because he wanted to see me, either way I was glad to see my old sensei. He was precious to me. I would gladly die for him, he knew this and I had proved it just as he had proven his own promises to me.

"So how are things?" He asked between noisy slurps of noodle.

"Things are going." I nodded, my mind slipped to Sasuke who I knew was waiting in my apartment for me. Waiting for an answer to his request.

"Something bothering you, Naruto?" He asked, his chopsticks poised over his half-empty bowl.

I smiled at him, "Nothing. Work is getting to me, though." I held out my ink stained hands. Iruka was the only one who got the most truth out of me. I couldn't stand lying to him. He knew that I was ANBU but had never once brought it up after his discovery. I remember the only thing he had said after finding out my true occupation was, 'Just be careful.' That was one of the things that I loved about him.

"Liar." He grunted, eyeing me as he picked up his bowl and drank the salty broth.

When my own bowl was put in front of me, I said my thanks and dived in eagerly. At least eating had delayed my answer to his question. "We'll talk later." I said between bites of noodle, eyeing Shikamaru and Chouji who slid into seats beside me.

"Hey." The shadow ninja muttered before ordering a bowl of spicy ramen.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Wife kicked me out." Shikamaru grunted, "So damn troublesome. You are lucky not to have one, Naruto."

"No, I'm just lucky I haven't fallen in love with a woman like Temari." I snickered before polishing off my bowl and ordering another.

"She's so damn scary." The brilliant tactician and fearless ANBU captain admitted as he ate his noodles. "Especially when she's pregnant."

A usual night at Ichiraku's was just like this. We'd talk, laugh and gorge ourselves on delicious ramen before someone's wife came by to drag away a reluctant husband by the ear. It was usually Temari, who really was scary when she was pregnant. They were the only couple that I knew of that could make exchanges of slaps and curses seem like endearments and tough love. I paused over my second bowl, realizing who that reminded me of. I shuddered inwardly at the thought of Sasuke and myself on the porch, smacking each other around like Temari did to Shikamaru.

I finished the rest of my noodles and stood, "I'm out of here." I announced to the group before leaving, Iruka followed suit.

"So, what's up Naruto?"

"It's Sasuke."

"What about him?"

I filled him in on the events that followed after Sasuke showed up on my doorstep, including (and rather painfully, I might add) his proposition. Iruka sat on the bench we had stopped at and listened as I rattled on. I eventually couldn't find anything else to fill in the silence and just sat, staring off into the distance, letting my demons plague me.

"So, are you going to take him up on it?" Iruka asked.

What could I say? I wanted to say 'Yes' because the chance to have Sakura without Sasuke interrupting was almost too much to resist. If I said 'No', it would mean that I would never have her and it would prove that I wouldn't do everything to have her.

"You are honestly contemplating this, Naruto?" Iruka asked, looking shocked.

My guilty silence lived on as I gnawed on my lip, internally weighing my gains and losses. I was never good at this. "I'm not sure! I mean, I always said that I would do anything for Sakura."

"Anything for her, yes but not anything to have her. There's no guarantee that she'll come to you if you... do this thing, Naruto." Iruka pointed out.

"That's another thing that I've been weighing in my mind. But... it's a chance that I'll take. I think."

"This is insane, Naruto! I know that you love her but man, just let it go! There are some battles that you'll never win."

His words were ones that I had said to myself over and over again but it seemed impossible. Giving up wasn't a part of my nature and I wasn't about to start. "You know I can't do that." I said, feeling somewhat sad with that admonishment. If I was capable of giving up, I probably wouldn't have gone through half the grief that I had been through. But then, I wouldn't have ever gotten the chance to become a ninja, either.

"And plus, what if you do this and you don't like it?"

I shrugged, "Well, it'll suck won't it?"

"And... what if you do like it?"

I shrugged again, "Then it'll be all the more easy for me to do."

Iruka stared at me. I was hoping that he wouldn't think less of me, but if he did I'd understand Although it would hurt like hell. He broke the tension by smiling and as soon as it broke, I let out the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding. "You are incorrigible, Naruto."

"That's me." I nodded, still too afraid to go back to my apartment. "Uhm..."

"You don't want to go back there, do you?"

"Not yet, no." I muttered.

Iruka glanced at his watch. "Well, I've got to get going. It's nine and Hana is probably waiting for me." Hana being Kiba's sister. A surprising hook-up but one that was cute to watch, I'd have to admit. He didn't say anything else because he knew how much I had begun to detest parting wisdom. Or maybe because he knew that my mind was already made up.

"I've always wondered, Iruka... if one of her dogs licks you on the butt while you two are doing it, is it considered a threesome?"

He blinked and I could see him working my words over in his mind. I grinned like a fool as it donned on him and he blushed. "Naruto!" Iruka looked a bit harried and despaired, which only added to my delight.

I leapt up from the bench and took off towards my apartment, waving at my stunned friend. "You said it yourself, Iruka. I'm incorrigible." I cackled before leaping to the nearest rooftop.

I found myself circling the block a few times before stopping in front of my apartment. The lights weren't on but somehow, I could sense that he was waiting inside. I didn't want to go up there and be forced to make a decision.

I couldn't help but recall, as I found a spot on swing in the park in front of my apartment, something that Jiraiya had said to me. It was shortly after the old man had taken me to a brothel to pick out my first woman on my 16th birthday. He felt it necessary to inaugurate me into manhood and I don't know why but neither did I bother to ask. After I had spent three hours picking out a woman, and he wouldn't let me make a hasty decision... no I had to sit on a couch and let them parade themselves. It was probably the most embarrassing things I had ever experienced. But Jiraiya had sat me down afterwards and had said, "You can't make a hasty decision, son. You must learn to appreciate beauty in all its shapes and sizes. What you just went through, that's just a glimpse of the variety of colours that you have to dip your brush in." Poetic yes, and absolutely filthy. "Try them all. Find out what colours you like but don't just paint in those colours. You gotta add a bit of variety to offset those colours you know you love. Make you realize how much you appreciate them."

I didn't really understand what he had said back then, and I didn't quite know if he had this particular type of situation in mind but I think I was beginning to understand. I was running with this analogy of Jiraiya's by saying that what I was about to do was like taking charcoal and adding it to an oil painting.

The apartment was dark but not empty. Without even bothering to try, I sensed him sitting on the couch. He was still in the customary jounin uniform; flak vest, hitai-ate, dark blue pants, black shirt. His eyes were already locked on mine, I could see them flashing in the dark. Some people didn't realize this but Sasuke's eyes, because of the Sharingan, had a tendency to glimmer like a cat's did. Especially when his dander was up, like I knew it was right now. I knew what he was thinking that fuelled his anger; No one makes a Uchiha wait. Well, bully for him.

I flicked on the light, choosing not to acknowledge his presence after meeting his eyes in the dark. I needed a drink of water, the salty broth from the ramen was making my thirsty. After getting a drink, I walked into my bedroom and gathered clean clothes for a shower. I made sure to lock the door to the bathroom and let the water run over me until it was frigid. I knew that the door wasn't going to keep him out if he was so inclined, but I also knew he was too proud to knock down a door to get what he wanted.

I had years of experience in handling the last Uchiha and in that time, I got really good at pushing all of his buttons. Sasuke wouldn't reach for the bait dangling in front of his nose because it would prove that he was impatient to have what he wanted. This warped sense of pride came from always getting what he wanted the moment he wanted it. Why was I baiting the lion? Because I could, mainly, and probably because he had dangled bait in front of my nose, too and he knew that it was too much for me to resist.

I came out of the bathroom, standing there in the doorway and feeling the steam billow against my back. I wore pyjama pants and a black undershirt. The towel was hanging around my neck, soaking my shirt slightly.

Sasuke was standing at the end of the hallway with his arms folded across his chest. He had shed his flak vest sometime during his wait and wore only his black shirt, white forearm covers and customary fishnet undershirt. I could see the muscles flexing underneath the tight fabric of his shirt. The necklace with the tip of the kunai he had used to kill his brother hanging around his neck and his usual dark blue pants, shin bandages that wrapped over the arches of his feet as well.

"Have you decided?" His voice grated in the warm summer's air like a sudden gust of cold wind. I had to admit, he was scary when he was impatient.

I shrugged because I was too nervous to do anything else. I grabbed the ends of the towel around my neck and felt the terrycloth rub against my slightly sunburnt neck. "I have."

"And?" He bit out between his clenched teeth.

Again, I chose to shrug and I watched beneath my bangs as he took a step forward. Why did I press his buttons? Because I could. "And what?"

"Your decision!" Sasuke barked, stalking towards me like a lion on an unsuspecting deer. "You've been pressing my buttons for long enough, Naruto."

"Yeah I know. Did I ever mention that you look beautiful when you're angry?" Again because I could, I taunted him further. I learned another trick when dealing with Sasuke; when wanting to throw him off, a compliment just after an insult was the shortest route through his defences.

His hands came out and he pinned me against the wall with a strength that always managed to shock me. "You think you know everything about me?" He bit off, his face just inches away from mine.

"I know enough, Sasuke." I said. I kept my grin pasted on my face because I refused to show him that I was actually scared shitless.

"So tell me your decision, Naruto." He said.

"Are you begging?" I asked abruptly.

A hand wrapped around my neck but it never tightened. It just stayed there as if he was contemplating whether or not to squeeze. I stayed perfectly still and held his gaze. He leaned in closer, letting his cheek brush against mine. His breath fanned across my ear as he spoke, "The last person who heard me beg, I killed."

"Threat, Uchiha?" I let my blue irises bleed away to red. It was something that I had learned to gain control of. Another pearl of wisdom Jiraiya had taught me was intimidation tactics. This was one of the many that I wielded.

His dark inky eyes flashed scarlet with that same eerie opacity I had seen earlier. "Promise."

I abolished the scant inches between us and let my lips brush against his. If I was about to do this thing, I'd be damned if he'd be the one to start. I had a vague idea what two men did together and somehow, I thought that kissing one would be completely different from kissing a woman. The differences were far too subtle for me to recognize at that moment. Later on, when I was calmed down enough to figure it out, I'd be able to pick out what those differences were.

My anger fed into my lust and propelled our kiss further. Our tongues clashed in an angry bid for dominance. Teeth clacked and nipped, lips grew puffy and tender as we increased our pace. He tore away first and stared down at my mouth, "I hate you."

"Mutual." I breathed, desperately grappling for that still, silent spot in my brain.

_**TBC!1!11!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: _Okay, sorry for the other cliffhanger. I hope that this story isn't as cliffy... or hanger-y. Ung. That was terrible. Sorry for the bad joke. Anywhoooo... thank you a million times over for the warm response! I appreciate that you guys have been so patient. I meant to have this up last night but my father, in his infinite wisdom decided that he was going to defrag the computer which took all night and most of this morning. I had this finished early yesterday.

And... I apologise if you are expecting a lemon. Please refer to my profile, where you can get a link that will take you to aff where you can get all of my lemon-y goodness. I will have all my lemon chapters posted there soon, if they are up by the end of this week. If not, then expect it at mediaminer. I'll have a link to my profile on _that _page too.

Oh yeah... I forgot to tell you all this. DON'T WORRY! This isn't a SasukeXSakura fic... :) Rest assured, all the Sakura-haters will be appeased by this little creation of mine. SasuSaku and NaruSasu fics are honestly the only two pairs that I don't like. And to anyone who read my Sakura-centric fic, I can tell you that I like Sakura. I didn't in the first few episodes because I thought she was a useless tit but after reading the manga, she's one cool chica. :)

Disclaimer: Don't own it! My abuse of these characters is entirely profit-free!

Warning: A bit of SasuNaru, NaruSasu hanky-panky. Sakura alert.

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_Sow a thought and you reap an action;  
sow an act and you reap a habit;  
sow a habit and you reap a character;  
sow a character and you reap a destiny._  
-Buddhist Proverb

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Chapter Three

So this is where it ended (or Started?). On my bed, pinned down by Sasuke. Did I like what he was doing to me? Maybe but I wasn't about to admit that to anyone besides Sasuke, who had me bound and gagged with the promise of finally having Sakura. I kept thinking of her as he touched me. I kept remembering the smell of her shampoo, the feel of her skin which I could only imagine was soft like the velvety texture of a rose petal. I closed my eyes and pretended as Sasuke's mouth covered mine, that it was actually Sakura's.

I don't know when he stopped but I opened my eyes and looked up to see his arms crossed over his chest, his facial expression unreadable. "Why did you stop?"

"Because, you're not giving me all that I want. I want you to enjoy it." He said softly, lifting himself off of my legs. His pants were tight, I could tell that he was fully aroused. He stood on my bed with feet planted on either side of me, keeping me from getting out of the bed.

"I've never done this with a guy before, you're going to have to excuse me." I grumbled, rubbing my mouth on the back of my hand. I felt the urge to throw him off and go brush my teeth, gargle with bleach- anything to get the taste of him out of my mouth. "I don't have the experience you have."

He reached down and grabbed the collar of my shirt. He was taller than me but he wasn't bigger. He had a delicate, aristocratic look about him and it hid the truth of his strength from anyone shallow enough to judge him only by his exterior. Deep inside, I knew that the Kyuubi stirred. The demon was always attracted to power. It always reacted to Sasuke's touch just as it did with anyone who had power. When I was a kid, I figured this was my nervous reaction to every time someone powerful was around me (I was usually instigating a fight with them, or vise versa) because it felt like butterflies in my stomach. Luckily I was old enough and strong enough to have some degree of control against him lashing out against that power. "What are you saying, Naruto?" His voice was soft but that was because he was wrestling with demons far larger than I cared to comprehend.

"Did I stutter?" I slapped his hands away and hooked a foot under the back of his knee, it buckled underneath him. My hand shot out, too fast for even my eye to see and it caught his throat. In one movement, I had him pinned underneath me. "Is this what you had in mind, Sasuke?" The words I uttered sounded alien to me. Dark and low like the trickling growl from a predator before it attacked.

I initiated the second kiss, knowing that because I was being so aggressive it was turning Sasuke on against his will. I could feel him beneath my, trying his hardest not to move his hips and find relief in his growing arousal. I raked my fingers through his hair, tangling it and yanking hard as he tried to pull away. "Do you want me to like it, Sasuke?" I asked between our kisses. My teeth nipped against his delicate earlobe and I let out a warm breath to tease his ear, wondering if he liked it just like I knew a hundred other faceless women liked. I wanted him to become just like them. Featureless and wholly unremarkable, but it was impossible and I knew it before the words formed in my brain. Sasuke never just went away. Whether he intended to or not, he always made an impression.

I ground my hips into his, the action and the friction was not alien to me but the reaction was. He didn't groan, he didn't writhe; he_ purred_. I did it again just to confirm what my brain refused to see. I was getting excited, just watching his reaction.

Sasuke pushed me down onto the mattress and straddled my legs, looming over me with his face shrouded in shadow. Sasuke brushed his lips against mine, in an action so sweet and simple it made me cringe. I knew what he was trying to do; he was trying to tease me and he was doing a good job of it. I was becoming so bothered by his gentle touch in stark contrast to all the anger and violence that he had shown me before, that I found myself shying away as if expecting to be hit.

"You think you are the only one who knows a thing or two?" He growled into my stomach, looking up at me as his lips slid back and revealed teeth that were poised over my stomach. I heaved a breath, ready to retaliate when he bit down– hard. I could see through the pale moonlight that soaked in through my window, his jaw muscles quivering as his teeth kept pressure. He didn't bite down harder, thankfully.

"Sweet mother of god!" I gushed stupidly, my hips jerking as the spasms of pain rode along with the pleasure that rippled through my body. He let go and in one long, wet lick of his tongue, laved away at the bite marks. Pain and pleasure. Pain and pleasure. The duality of it blurred together until I didn't know where one ended and the other began. I knew that Sasuke was fucked up but I didn't know he worked it to his advantage so well and so thoroughly. His ministrations left me weak and gasping for air. My scalp itched as I began to sweat from the growing sensations pooling at the base of my spine.

His mouth latched on to the bite mark and sucked. I curled in around his head, cupping his face as his jaws worked. I shuddered he let go and sat up, his fingers touched the mark that looked deep purple in the dark. His hands were cold and a shock to my flesh, which felt fevered and hypersensitive. "I'm calling the shots." Sasuke hissed softly before sliding his body up mine. It reminded me of a slithering snake but while my mind said that I should be absolutely terrified of this man, my body was only too happy to recieve him.

I surfaced slowly, my eyes opened at last and I peered around my room. I glanced at the clock. I had another fifteen minutes before I had to get up and get ready for work. I belatedly realized that I had someone else in my bed. The night's activities came rushing back in a euphoria of feelings that left me feeling somewhat dazed. I stared up at the ceiling and found myself unable to look into his eyes, which I knew were open and staring at me.

I got out of the bed, his gaze chased me out of the room. I felt dirty and took the chance on indulging myself in a short shower before donning my decoy uniform. Blue cargo-cut pants, An Orange and blue crop neck shirt, flak vest, and sandals. I avoided looking at myself in the mirror, especially without a shirt on. In the shower I had glanced at the bruises that littered my skin and had to keep myself from aggravating them by scrubbing. Dirt underneath my skin, a testament to the filth that I had forced myself to indulge in.

I went back into my room to retrieve my satchel and avoided looking at the bed where Sasuke lay. I paused at the door, "I want you out of here by the time I get home. And I want your end of the bargain fulfilled. Break-up with her and get the hell out of her house." I said, my voice strangely absent of any emotion, not even my much indulged anger.

His laughter mocked me as I walked down the hall and out the front door. The walk to the hidden ANBU headquarters was a short one and I was hastened by the time I had taken up in the shower. I slipped on my cape and mask before entering the front door. I entered the large lecture-style conference room and found my masked counterparts already seated. This was the only time that all teams met in one room. It was eerie because no one spoke or milled about, asking about wives or children. They sat still and sombre, waiting for duties and instructions, given to them under different aliases by a man no one knew. I was glad to don my mask, armour and cape for the day.

"You were late." The captain, Shikamaru, who was wearing the mask of a snarling badger, said calmly after the meeting. "And I suspect that you haven't got your armour or your weapon beneath that cape, do you?"

I shook my head and for the first time in a long time, felt thankful for the grinning fox mask I was wearing. "Sorry, I got held up."

"You mean you slept in." The lieutenant stepped up, her eyes glimmering beneath the mask of her crying wolf. Tenten had always enjoyed riding my back and I was sure she was going to dish out a pretty nasty chore for me. I could see all the little cogs spinning in that pretty head as she tried to think of something that she hadn't already subjected me to.

"I got held up." I persisted and turned to the changing rooms to get my armour and get my sword. When I came out, my teammates were waiting for me. I didn't bother to say anything more but fell into step as we left the building to execute the task the commandant had put towards us.

Another cull, another day. ANBU never got stars for originality but it was a job that was done with a deadly accuracy. As we sped through the city, heading towards the gate, I caught sight of Sasuke leaving my apartment. I paused on my perch and watched him leave, fully dressed. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and his head was bent down low, as if he was hiding something.

"You're job isn't to keep tabs on the Uchiha." Tenten said haughtily from beside me, "They do that." She pointed at the cloaked figure standing on the roof of my apartment.

It came as a shock when I first learned that ANBU was keeping close eye on Sasuke. He had his own thick file filled with all sorts of confidential information. The majority of that file I had submitted myself but there were a few interesting notes from Kakashi and Tsunade as well. The ANBU had expressed interested in keeping a very close eye on Sasuke. I'm sure he knew that there were at least a half a dozen knives trained on him at all times. He had deflected, shown a flaw in his loyalty to Konoha and that was something that was inexcusable. No one liked or wanted to trust a traitor.

I continued on my way, but Sasuke still hadn't left my thoughts. But like pulling out the cork in the dam, the hole just crumbled away until I was washed away in a flood of memories. Flashes of last night left me breathless and struggling to keep up.

Shikamaru stopped and finally I caught up. "You're distracted." He accused, glaring at me.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry if you don't mean it. Go home. We don't need you here today if you are going to have your head in the clouds."

Feeling chastened by his words, I turned and made to leave when another voice stopped me, "If you are so intent on the Uchiha, tell the ANBU on duty that you're taking over for the day. Have them report here to fill in your position. I guess we can start your punishment by a simple babysitting job, right?" Tenten's voice taunted.

I stilled only because of the overwhelming urge to object to the order. I nodded but still didn't look at my teammates, who I suddenly felt like I was betraying. I left without saying a word and quickly found the other member, who was wearing a apathetic rabbit mask. I curtly instructed them like Tenten had told me and resumed position babysitting Sasuke.

I was standing in the abandoned Uchiha sect. It was early morning and the sun was just above the horizon, shedding a warm golden glow over everything. I crossed my arms beneath my cloak and settled myself for a long wait.

The ANBU watched only a few people within the village. Usually things like this lasted months but in Sasuke's case, it had lasted years. He was forced to stay within the walls of Konoha, he was restricted from joining ANBU, although most would say we had no right to do that since it was the Uchihas themselves that used to run our organization. He wasn't allowed to take missions because he was confined to Konoha. He couldn't teach because parents wouldn't allow their children to be taught by a ninja whose loyalty was questionable. The only thing he was able to do was become mentor to a trio of gennin and skilfully, Old Lady Tsunade had given him a team of orphans as not to incur the wrath of outraged parents. They were trouble children, really. Mouthy and completely undisciplined. They reminded me of someone.

I watched as he met them at the bridge and dismissed them. He said he had other places to be. I followed him off the bridge and down to the house he and Sakura shared. I dropped onto the patio and slipped inside the open french doors, into a spacious bedroom on the second floor. She made a lot on a medic-nin salary, since they were specialty jounin but being one of the best in her field had its obvious perks. But then, she was sleeping with the only member to the richest clan in the country.

Downstairs, I could hear voices. I slipped further into the house, out of the bedroom and into a hallway. My feet made no sound as I stepped through and leaned over the bannister slightly to listen in on the conversation that drifted up the stairs.

"I thought you'd be earlier to clean out your things." Sakura's voice said softly, wearily.

"I was busy." Sasuke sneered, "doing other things. Why? Were you and your fiancee planning on where to put the crib?"

Fiancee? Crib? My stomach began to sink as the conversation unfolded. "No, and that's not fair, Sasuke! You drove me to this!" She said, her voice rising as her anger grew.

"I didn't drive you to become a whore." A slap echoed through the spacious hallway. It didn't take a genius to know that Sakura had just hit Sasuke.

I drifted down the stairs, intent on the conversation. Flattening myself up against the wall, I only had to think of the jutsu words and I blended in effortlessly, just in case they felt compelled to take their argument out into the hallway where I would be in plan view. I just hoped, during their argument that Sasuke didn't turn on his Sharingan otherwise he'd see right through my jutsu. Here's for chances.

"You have the audacity to accuse me of perfidy?" Sakura hissed, her voice low and radiating a danger that made my toes curl up in my sandals. "I have found someone that I love and want to spend my life with. That's something that I don't feel ashamed of. Did it ever occur to you that in the end, the only reason I kept you around was because I felt sorry for you? The only thing that you have going for you is your family name, what a fine end to an illustrious family you are–"

"Shut up." Sasuke interrupted, his voice harsh with emotion. "Did it ever occur to _you_ that the only reason why I kept you around was to get to Naruto? God, he wanted you so bad." His laugh made the bile rise in my throat. "He's going to hate you just as much as I do."

"What do you mean?"

I had to put a stop to this, was all that went through my mind as I broke the jutsu and layed down the barrier that kept my chakra from being sensed. It came crashing down in all its glory, the red and blue chakra mixing, clashing with my wrath as I stepped into the room. They knew who I was without me bothering to take off the mask.

Sakura gasped my name. The two of them had been standing in the kitchen with the island between them. I must have looked frightening with the mask and cloak on and katana still in my hand which I had taken off when my back was up against their wall to keep from knocking down picture frames. My hand shook as I slid the mask on top of my head and pushed the cloak's hood off. "How long have you been standing there?" Sakura asked, tears spilling from her Vermillion eyes.

"Long enough." My voice sounded hollow to me, void of emotion but inside I shook to the very core with it. The emptiness inside of me was being filled to overflowing with anger, sadness and disgust. We used to be a team. Now all we could do was hate each other and we had no one to blame but ourselves. "What did you do, Sakura?" I asked softly.

She dropped her head, letting her hair slide off of her shoulder to cover her face. "I found someone else, Naruto. I'm pregnant and we are getting married."

"Are you sure that it's not his?" I asked, pointing my chin at Sasuke.

"It's not. I haven't slept with him for months."

"How far along are you?"

"Three weeks."

"Who?"

Sasuke spoke, "Rock Lee."

"Good, at least its someone who will be able to treat you better than he could." Again, I nodded in Sasuke's general direction. I ignored the triumphant look on his face and trained my eyes on Sakura's.

"What did Sasuke mean by what he said, Naruto? Why would you hate me, too?" She sounded like she was twelve again.

The words stuck to the back of my throat, tasting sour and sickly. I didn't want to tell her, I was too ashamed. "Nothing." I said shortly, dropping my gaze to the floor at Sakura's feet. "Absolutely nothing."

"What did you do, Sasuke?" She whispered.

He spoke the truth and I stood quietly by as the look of horror and guilt distorted Sakura's features. That look alone made all the anger, and jealousy pour out of me until nothing was left but the disgust and an overwhelming sense of sadness. I was so tired. So tired of all the tragedy and loss in my life that I felt physically sick with it.

"Is it true, Naruto? Did... did you... with Sasuke...?"

"It doesn't matter, Sakura. It's in the past. I can't take back what has happened anymore than you could." I pulled my hood back on and rearranged my mask. "Now get your shit, Sasuke and get the fuck out. If I see you near her again, I'll kill you." I said gently. Sasuke brushed passed me and picked up the suitcase that sat at the front door, waiting for him. Obviously, Sakura had packed for him.

"I'm sorry, Naruto! Please forgive me!" Sakura sobbed raggedly. "If I had known..."

"You would have what? You would have picked me? Instead of betraying Sasuke, you would have betrayed me. That's all we've ever done to one another, isn't it? We've kept secrets from each other, we've betrayed one another. We've hurt each other over and over again. I'm sick of it Sakura. Sick and tired of it." I slung my weapon over my back and gave her one last glance before leaving the same way I had come in. Silently through the upstairs patio doors.

I wished that I could have screamed and cried because that's what I felt like doing. It would have been a lot easier if I wasn't in my ANBU uniform and had to keep a low profile. The walls that held back my chakra and shielded it from the senses slammed back into place. The familiar feel of isolation washed over me and this time, I felt it hard to ignore. I shuddered as I fought back the loneliness.

When I had finally gotten my nerves under control, I found Sasuke at my apartment. I entered in through the patio doors and tore off the mask and cloak. I watched as he threw the suitcase onto my couch and sat down beside it, raking his hands through his hair. "You knew and you still made me do it. You still made me go through with it." I said as I yanked on the straps that kept my chest plate together.

"Am I that repulsive?" He asked softly, not meeting my eyes.

I succeeded in getting my chest protection off, the plates dropped onto the hard wood floor. I yanked off the rest of it in angry, jerky movements as I thought of the answer to the question. An answer I already knew. "Yes, you are." I growled and scooped up the equipment, depositing it on my kitchen table. I leaned heavily against the back of a chair, staring at the kit that littered the surface. "You are so good at destroying, Sasuke. It's frightening how well you do it. You can't stand seeing other people happy, you just have to go out of your way to make people miserable. Does it get you off, the sight of tears? Does it make you all warm inside to know that the few people in this goddamn world that love you, now hate you with all their might? God, I hate you so much right now I could strangle you." I felt like a nagging fishwife, but it felt good to get those words out. I stared down at the sword that lay close to my hand and I genuinely wanted to run it through Sasuke.

Strong arms wrapped around my body, pinning my hands to my sides. He rested his head against my back. I could feel the warmth of his body as he stood flush against my back. I was in too much shock to fight back. Sasuke was touching me out of tenderness and he had invoked it. "I'm not a good person, Naruto."

"You are right, you aren't." I agreed, feeling tired. I didn't really care if he touched me or not. I was just too damn emotionally exhausted to care. Finally, I pushed away from him and walked into the bathroom, taking a long shower. To hell with watching Sasuke. If he disappeared, he'd be doing a lot of people a favour.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Sorry for the long wait between updates, guys. I appreciate all the reviews! HUGZZ Thanks so much! I think this'll probably end in the next chapter. I have to work on another piece that's been sitting and collecting dust. >.> Sooo... here it is, without further ado. The fourth chapter.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Don't sue! So there!

Warning: Nothing much. Surprise, surprise.

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_ "What power has love but forgiveness?_  
_ In other words_  
_ by its intervention_  
_ what has been done_  
_ can be undone._  
_ What good is it otherwise?"_  
-William Carlos Williams

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Chapter Four

It had been weeks since I had last seen Sasuke. I had taken myself on missions that lead me hither-thither throughout the Fire Country on a goose chase for a deadly missing-nin that was plaguing the roads. I eventually found him, dead at the bottom of a cliff with his neck broken. The idiot had been running and not seen where he was going. I grimaced at that very sad yet suitable ending to the villain that had lead me on for so long.

When I got back into the village, I learned of Sakura's and Lee's hasty marriage. I was a bit shocked but at the same time, relieved that she was in better hands now. After what had happened with Sasuke, I really didn't want to think about the pain that this had caused. That would come later, after I saw her. Which I had to do, seeing as I was still her friend.

I showed up at her doorstep with flowers and a gift certificate to a boutique that sold baby clothes. It wasn't much, especially since Sakura had everything she could ever want, but I think it was more about the gesture. I was hoping to extend the olive branch but I knew that she wasn't going to take it unless I addressed what had gone on between me and the bastard.

"Naruto..." Lee muttered after swinging the door open and staring at me in shock for a few moments.

"Hey fuzzy eyebrows, is Sakura-chan home?" I made a point of the prefix in hopes of proving that I was here with good intentions.

His eyes took in my appearance, black sandals, bandaged shins, black pants, thigh holster, black shirt with a bright orange swirl on the front that was barely visible beneath my chuunin vest. He smiled, "Sure. Come in! Come in!"

I entered and smiled, shaking his hand, "Congrats, man."

"Thanks." He said, letting go of my hand. I took the opportunity to kick off my sandals and pad after him, through the hallway and into the kitchen where Sakura sat at the table with scrolls and books scattered about.

She looked up, her verdant eyes widening as I pulled up a chair beside her. "Lee... can you go to the store and-and get... some milk...? I'm craving it..."

"We have milk–"

"Please, I need some milk and I don't think we have enough."

He took a moment to grasp what she really meant, which was 'give us some time alone', but he eventually nodded and left without another word. Neither of us spoke until finally the door slammed closed. Sakura let out a small breath and closed the book she had been writing in. "How are you doing, Naruto?"

I laid my gifts on the table and then leaned back, crossing my arms over my chest. I wanted to just curl up into a ball and not have to deal with this but I knew that avoiding the situation would cause too much damage. I didn't want to lose her friendship, although I knew the chances of me ever gaining her love would never ever come true. "I'm fine. I was busy with a mission."

"And how did it go?"

Accepting neutral territory, I explained the farcical mission to her which left tears in her eyes because she laughed so hard. I hadn't seen her this merry in a long time, which thawed some of the ice around my heart that Sasuke had breathed there. "So... have you seen him since...?"

She shook her head, "No. The village finally gave him permission to go out. ANBU isn't watching him anymore."

"I figured they would do that soon..." I muttered, unable to meet her eyes as I finally breeched the topic that sat between us like a big pink elephant, "You know, I don't want your pity, Sakura."

"I know."

"And I want you to forget about this... I'll admit to you that I love you, that I've loved you since the first day that I laid eyes on you. When I was just a snot-nosed brat with a bad attitude and little to no discipline." I smirked but found myself too scared to meet her eyes, lest I find pity or anger written on her beautiful face, "Even then I think I figured that I was unworthy of you..." I laughed away the bitterness I felt at that confession.

"Naruto..."

I shook my head, hoping she wouldn't interrupt me again because I knew that my courage was crumbling. I had met the most deadliest ninjas head on without a thought, I had almost lost my life dozens of times and although I felt fear, I was never a coward. Before her, admitting things that we had both known for years but never acknowledged was absolutely terrifying. "Please, just listen." I said, glancing as far as her mouth and watched it clamp closed before continuing. "But I would rather... rather have this love go unrequited and be your friend than to be bitter about it and never get to see you again. I want to be there for you guys. I want to teach your brat how to eat ramen. I want to teach him my Sexy jutsu. And if it's a girl, that's fine... I'll teach her how to tie her shoes and defend her from all the boys. I want to be there for you and Lee. I want to know for sure that you are happy– genuinely happy. If you are, then that's enough for me." I said, finally letting the silence settle around us like a heavy cloak.

"Naruto..." her voice shuddered and she launched herself off of the chair, wrapping her arms around my neck. She buried her face in the crook of my neck, dampening my skin with tears and breath. I wrapped my arms tightly around her quivering body and pulled her into my lap, holding her there. I relished in that moment, I admit. This was, I knew, the last time I would ever be able to touch her like this and allow myself to feel this completely in love with her. But she was happy with Lee, and I was fine with that... wasn't I? God, I hoped so.

We pulled apart after what seemed mere seconds. My glimpse into what could have been, might have been, tragically closed like a window slamming shut. I looked at her for the first time since I had made my confession and I smiled because looking back at me was the same Sakura I had known since I was a kid. The woman who struggled with her insecurities, the woman who loved with all her might. She could move mountains if she thought it was necessary and for that, I loved her.

I pushed away strands of cotton candy coloured hair, tucking it behind her ear. "So I heard you and Lee tied the knot while I was away."

"Yeah... I'm sorry Naruto. I wanted you there but you were gone and we didn't know when you were coming back. Lee insisted as soon as he learned, that we get married immediately."

I nodded, "Fuzzy Eyebrows is a man who can take care of his business."

She grinned, "You are never going to call him by his name, are you?"

"Nope. I'm just going to call a spade a spade." I returned the grin with one of my own, flashing teeth sheepishly. There are some things that I know will never change. "I'm hungry. I want ramen. You coming?" I asked.

Sakura was still sitting in my lap, one arm slung over my neck and the other on her knee. "I would love to, Naruto... but I got work."

"Fine with me. That just means I don't have to pay."

"Stingy."

"No, you are just fat. You can eat more than I can."

"Hey! I'm eating for two now!"

I leered, "And what was your excuse before that?"

That remark earned me a smart cuff to the back of my head that left my ears ringing. I blinked back stars as she stuttered apologies. Sakura just never knew her own strength sometime. "Go on, you." She said, before hugging me and sliding off of my lap to sit in her own chair. "Get out of here before I rearrange your face."

"You couldn't catch me, fatso." I taunted as I skipped out the door, dodging Lee as I went by. "See ya around, Fuzzy Eyebrows."

—

I wandered into the office, feeling better than I had in a long time. I was willing to work now and Tsunade was more than happy to appease this zeal. She set me in the missions room to dole out assignments to idle shinobi. I saw a lot of familiar faces and a lot of new ones. With that being said, I also felt a certain amount of anxiety at the possibility of facing Sasuke, and this was predictable since a run-in was almost certain. I mentally geared myself for meeting him. I decided that I would act nonchalant. I would paste a smile on my face and I wouldn't budge or let myself even think of what had happened a few weeks ago.

Then he walked in.

And I sat stunned, overwhelmed by a sense of panic. Genma, who was sitting beside me, had been quick to pick up on my panic– I must not have been covering myself so well. "You ok?"

"I'm fine." I said underneath by breath as Sasuke approached, followed by three gennin.

"We finished our mission." He handed me the scroll which I took wordlessly and opened. It was his report on how it went and how the kids had handled it. Obviously these kids had plenty of talent because they had come up against some brutal criminals.

I glanced at the kids over the scroll. "Come here, please." I nodded to the kids. They approached with a reluctant glance to their sensei. "How did you enjoy your mission?"

There were two boys and a girl. All the same age born in the same month and all of them were orphans. "It was fun! Sasuke-sensei was awesome. He taught us some cool stuff." The girl, Michiko piped up, earning a few grumbles from her teammates. Obviously, this was her usual behaviour. "And-and..." She trailed off when she became aware of the scowls.

"And?" I urged.

"And so was Kazuo and Saniiro..."

"And what about you?" I asked.

She blushed to the roots of her blonde head, down. Staring at the floor before her feet, Michiko mumbled, "I got hurt... and they protected me." She lifted up her bandaged arm.

"And are you ok?"

"Yep."

I turned to look at the two boys, who reminded me so much of Sasuke when he was their age. So sullen and angry. "You two, come here."

Sasuke held out a hand, preventing them from walking closer to my desk, "Is this necessary, Naruto?" He asked.

I paused, realizing that I had drawn a crowd while I was talking to the little girl. I glanced at Genma, who was sitting and listening in on the conversation, watching Sasuke and me with an attention I didn't think he was capable of. "I guess not." I said, leaning back and holding Sasuke's inky gaze. "You may leave. I'm sure you have other things to do."

The girl whirled and grinned at her unsmiling companions. Unshaken by their scorn, she asked, "Sasuke-sensei, can we go for ramen?"

"I promised, didn't I?" He threw over his shoulder as he left, followed by his two young doppelgangers.

Michiko whirled and grinned at me, "Bye, Naruto-senpai!" She yelled before dashing out the door.

"Reminds me of someone..." Tsunade spoke behind me, I turned and met her sharp, pointed gaze.

"I'm sure she drives him up the wall just as much as I did." I gave a self depreciating laugh before turning to accept the next scroll from an awaiting shinobi.

Tsunade's hand fell on my shoulder, "Go to Ichiraku's and have ramen with them." An order, obviously.

I left reluctantly and went straight to Ichiraku's feeling a potent mixture of fear, annoyance, anger and eagerness. I didn't want to see Sasuke because I didn't want to have to contend with the feelings that he had brought up when he betrayed me. I still had no idea what i was supposed to feel but figured that maybe anger was a safe enough emotion to stew in.

"Naruto-senpai!" Michiko said gleefully from her perch at the ramen bar. I looked up and smiled at the pretty little girl. She was sitting at Sasuke's side, the other was occupied by one of the boys, Saniiro I think. I could never tell the two apart. They were twins.

"Michiko-chan." I said, settling myself into a seat beside her. I glanced at Sasuke before ordering a bowl of ramen. "That's the good stuff." I pointed to her pork ramen that was almost finished.

"And her second bowl." Sasuke commented dryly as he lifted chopsticks dripping with noodles to his mouth.

Michiko grinned, "I like ramen!"

"Me too!" I agreed.

She was such a sweet little girl. She chattered on happily, referring to Sasuke who she obviously admired. I guess even little girls weren't immune to Sasuke's...er... charm. I bought her a third bowl after finishing my second. "Sasuke-sensei is an awesome ninja! I wanna be like him when I grow up!" Michiko announced.

I grinned, "Sasuke is pretty special, isn't he?"

Her eyes grew wide as blurted, "Naruto-senpai, Sasuke-sensei said you are gonna be Hokage someday, is it true? Is it? Is it?"

Shocked that Sasuke would mention me to his students, I glanced at him but his eyes were on his bowl as he fished out the last piece of carrot floating in the broth of his ramen. I looked down at Michiko, "Yep, one day I'll be Hokage."

"But Sasuke-sensei is stronger than you." One of the boys piped up, glaring at me from the other side of Sasuke.

"How do you know?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Has he been bragging about himself?"

Sasuke shot me a dark glance before turning to chastise his student, "Naruto is stronger than me. He has something that I do not; strength of character. No matter how much muscle you have, no matter how much power you have in your punch, nothing matters if you don't know when to use it."

"But you do, sensei. You saved me when I got in trouble." Michiko argued.

I was stunned to silence. I couldn't believe that Sasuke had admitted that I was stronger than him... and somehow, I found it a bitter victory. I pushed away the rest of my ramen and said, "How about we go do some training? I can use the workout." I grinned.

The gennin jumped up, eager for a new sparring partner. I glanced at Sasuke and wondered what he was thinking as he slid from his stool and followed the kids out. We walked side by side, letting the kids run down the street to the training grounds.

"How have you been, Sasuke?"

"Good." He said shortly, then sighed before asking, "And you?"

"Fine. I've been thinking... a lot... lately." I said, feeling lame.

"That's a first for you, Usuratonkachi." He said softly, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

I wrinkled my nose and chose to ignore the comment, "You know... I don't think what you did is forgivable. But I'm thinking that... well, I'm thinking that–"

"Was it good, Naruto? Did you enjoy it?"

The blush crept up from the bottom of my feet to the roots of my hair. "Uhm... I-well-that is... yes..." I stuttered, trying not to let the memories rush over me. I wasn't lying. It had been good. Everything about him. He was completely different from anyone I had ever been with before... but this was Sasuke we were talking about. He stayed on anyone's mind that he came in contact with. There was just something subtle about him. In bed he was completely different.

"So what's the big deal?"

His question tore me from my struggling thoughts and I glanced at him, "What's the big deal, Sasuke? You used me! You lied to me! God, you manipulated me, you son of a bitch. Don't you feel bad about that?"

"Ninjas are tools to be used."

"But I'm your friend, Sasuke. You don't use your friends."

He shrugged, the argument slid into silence but there was still things begging to be said. The questions and the answers hung in the air like a hundred swords, ready to dash away the dizzying pretense that the two of us had breathed to life over the past few years. The training ground neared and out of no where, a foot came whistling by, attached to a young Saniiro. It was as if everything was in slow motion. I whipped a hand out and grabbed his ankle, I swung him around and sent him sailing to the other side of the clearing as Kazuo charged in.

Kazuo had brute strength, despite his frame. I could sense that he was feeding his muscles chakra and it didn't take a sharingan to figure that out since by the looks of the kid, he was pretty skinny. But the kid moved! He almost had me a few times, I could tell that Sasuke had been teaching him taijutsu. While I was occupying myself with Kazuo, Michiko added to the fray. For such a cute little kid, she was a monster in technique. Her hand brushed against my skin and immediately, I felt goose pimples. Oh god, what was Sasuke harbouring here? I glanced at him as I dodged a hand from Michiko.

"Don't let her touch you." Sasuke grinned, watching the fight from beneath a tree he was leaned against.

Just as he said this, her fingers grazed against my forearm and I felt a hot stab of pain radiate throughout my entire arm. I hissed in pain and caught her wrist, recoiling as the same pain flared through my hand, causing it to go numb and useless. I grunted and jumped back a few feet, quickly created a few bunshin clones to take care of the two boys that were circling around and trying to flank me.

Michiko giggled– she actually giggled and I stared at her as she ran towards me. "Holy shit." I muttered, tasting and smelling the chakra as it oozed out of her skin. With a few years' experience under her belt, she was going to be an amazing fighter.

The boys dealt with two bunshin apiece and they struggled somewhat with it. I hadn't seen anything spectacular out of them yet. Soon, they kids' energy was flagging. Michiko had grazed me one other time when I got caught off guard as Kazuo managed to destroy one of the bunshins. Finally, I had Michiko pinned to the ground with her hands beneath her.

"Quite a team, Sasuke." I muttered, touching the spots that Michiko had grazed on my arms.

I moved away from the trio and watched as the boys helped Michiko to her feet, "She got hurt after her fight. She fell over funny and the guy she was fighting landed on top of her." Sasuke answered the question I was already forming on my lips as I looked at her bandaged arm.

"Go home, training is done for the day." He called to the three gennin and they left reluctantly, both boys stood protectively over Michiko.

We stood, letting the awkward silence grow between us. "You know..." I said, finally finding it unbearable. "I'm sorry for what I said after we saw Sakura... You aren't a bad person, Sasuke. You're fucked up... but you aren't bad."

"Thanks Naruto." He said dryly.

I gave him a toothy grin. "Your welcome."

Somehow, the impulse to lean over and kiss him became too much to ignore. Before I could staunch the idea, my lips grazed his cheek. "I meant it, Sasuke."

He turned his head quickly, catching my mouth with his before I could pull away. One hand came up and cradled the back of my neck. I opened my mouth to accommodate the gentle tug on my lip with his teeth, letting his tongue brush against mine.

It was wrong, I shouldn't have been doing it. I pushed him away before I could become completely lost in the embrace and stared at him, feeling light headed. "Don't Sasuke. Just... don't..."

"No! You don't!" He clamped his mouth shut and walked away, shoving passed me as he did.

I didn't want him to embellish that statement. I knew what I was doing. I knew that it was me who initiated the kiss. It was me that put us in that position and it was me who fucked up the apology that I had meant to give. Instead, my good intentions had been for naught. I wondered, as i watched him walk away, had I caused more damage? Had I finally broken our friendship to the point where it couldn't be repaired?

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Hey all... sorry about the slow update. But it's here, finally! I predicted that this would be the last chapter but my muse had other plans >.> There might by one or two after this. I'm just enjoying writing this so much. I'm very glad and pleased about the ammount of response that I'm getting to this. :Hugs, kisses and Sasunaru wishes to you all:

Warning: Lemony goodness ahead X3 Just a warning! If you don't like to see hot sexy men get down and dirty with each other than don't read this or around 80 percent of the fics that are on this site... or Brokeback Mountain, for that matter. It has been edited for content... if you want the unedited version then visit aaronfantasy (The link is on my profile) and get your fix. They are usually the first ones to get my fanfics so while you are there, sign up and told them death.by.shuriken sent you!

_

* * *

- _

_L'Amour est un oiseau rebelle  
Que nul ne peut apprivoiser  
Et c'est bien en vain qu'on l'appelle,  
S'il lui convient de refuser.  
Rien n'y fait, menace ou prière,  
L'un parle bien, l'autre se tait;  
Et c'est l'autre que je préfère  
Il n'a rien dit; mais il me tient._

_**Love is a rebellious bird  
That nothing can tame  
And it is simply in vain to call it  
If it is convenient for it to refuse.  
Nothing will work, threat or pleading,  
One speaks, the other stays quiet;  
And it's the other that I prefer  
He said nothing; but he pleases me.**_  
"La Habanera"  
From the Opera 'Carmen'

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Chapter Five

I wanted to know what the hell he meant by that comment, but that was after I had gotten into my apartment and had the time to analyse it. There wasn't much to analyse, really but sometimes I'm a bit slow on the uptake. So I sat simmering, alone in my apartment. I didn't know who I could talk to about this because there was no one that could really understand Sasuke.

I knew what I had done wasn't smart. It was selfish and it was rash. Me? Selfish and Rash? Never. But that wasn't the point! Sasuke was just wrong to have these impulses and cravings over.

I leaned my head back on the couch and stared up at my ceiling, tracing the water stains. I fought the urge to sleep, to close my eyes and just let it all drift away. That delectable thought slid through my brain as my eyes closed. With one jaw-cracking, eye-watering yawn, I dropped off to sleep.

–

_Smells. Vivid and as bright as colours. The smell of him, his skin, his sweat and his passion. He coated my tongue, filled my brain and left me feeling empty all at once. Just a glimpse, a sweet heaven-scented glimpse of what it could possibly be like to have no denial. No pain. Nothing but two people. With no background. No feelings. Unfettered by rules and guidelines._

_I arch back, feeling my body straining for release as fingers and mouth work to bring me to the brink. I'm tumbling. Falling. Flying. _

"_Naruto..." He whispered, his face contorted in pain and pleasure. His body shivers as I push boundaries, shatter them and caress them. Our goal, our selfish needs are the things that make the world spin 'round. Just that alone, encompassed in the length of our arms. _

_My skin seems to shiver and try to crawl off my body as that pleasure, for just the breadth of a second, turns to pain. I arch back further, feeling my muscles quiver as I'm finally pushed, pulled and coaxed over the edge of a release I didn't think was possible and while it's ringing in my ears, I hear... "I love–"_

–

I cried out and sat up, blinking in surprise. Night settled itself in my living room, casting everything in shadows. I blindly fumbled for the lamp and then looked down at myself, realizing that I had been turned on by that dream... was it a dream? It occurred to me that it wasn't a dream, but a memory.

"Oh god." I groaned and stood up on shaky legs. I needed a shower and I needed to stop thinking. It was getting me into trouble.

After a cold shower, I realized that my answering machine was blinking. The message was from Iruka and it sounded like he had called sometime during the day that I was out. I figured that instead of calling him, I'd stop by his apartment since it was just a block away. Maybe what I needed was a desperate distraction from the drama encircling my life.

I didn't bother knocking since it was Iruka after all. I wish that I had because as soon as I entered, I came face to face with Kakashi. I frowned and then something occurred to me as my eyes slid from his concealed, smiling face to Iruka who was shirtless and had his hair out of its customary ponytail. I had never seen him like that. Sometimes, it was one without the other but now, seeing him like this, I was a bit shocked.

"N-naruto! What are you doing here?"

"You left a message on my machine. Said that if I got the chance to come and see you. So, here I am."

"Don't you know how to knock, Naruto?" Kakashi asked; a sardonic eyebrow lifting as he looked at me.

I grinned, "I never knock when I come over because usually, Iruka-sensei is expecting me."

Kakashi gave me a shrug before his attention shifted to the other man standing behind him. I watched them talk, trying my best not to seem too interested. I smiled as innocently as I could when my old sensei said his goodbyes and left.

"What the hell was that all about?" I asked.

"N-nothing."

I lifted an eyebrow, "Oh really?"

"Really..." He said but I noted the lack of conviction in his voice. I had known Iruka for a very long time and I knew when the man was bothered with something. I had a funny feeling that whatever was going on between him and Kakashi, it was sitting heavily in his mind. I eyed him as I silently debated on further dragging out the issue but was interrupted by a sudden overly warm smile and a clap on the shoulder, "Want a cup of tea?"

"Sure." I kicked off my sandals and followed Iruka into his apartment.

Over tea, he asked, "So, what's going on with you and Sasuke?"

"What's going on with you and Kakashi?" I countered, probably looking a tad bit defensive.

He blushed from the roots of his hair downwards. I watched this reaction and although I knew already what was going on, I wouldn't bother saying anything until Iruka himself admitted it. "Nothing, really." He said into the mug of tea he was holding against his lower lip.

I drank my tea. "As for Sasuke and I... things have gotten complicated."

"Why?"

"Would it be cliché if I said that I can't stop thinking about him?"

Iruka's mug paused in its journey to set back on the table between us. "It is cliché." He agreed and set his cup down. "What are you going to about it?"

"No clue." I admitted. "But he makes me so angry because he used me. He knew that Sakura would never..." I swallowed back the lump in my throat, "Never..."

"He knew she was pregnant with Lee's child when he came over the last time."

I was humiliated. My pride had been pricked. I didn't deal well with embarrassment and maybe that's the reason that I had botched things up with Sasuke as badly as I had. He confused me too. I shouldn't have felt the way I did, namely because he had manipulated me so thoroughly to get what he wanted and he didn't even feel guilt over it! The bastard didn't– could ever feel guilt. I wasn't even entirely sure that he felt guilty over deflecting to Orochimaru's side for those brief few years. His faithlessness had caused a war and he hadn't shown any remorse. None. How the hell did someone like Sasuke learn to love when all he had ever known was grief and anger? How did one show Sasuke how to love? Love? When had that shown up into the equation? When did Sasuke's ability to love ever show up in this problem?

I glanced at Iruka, inanely terrified that he might've grasped the train of my thought. He looked like he was concerned with his own so I dropped my eyes lest I distract him. I drank my tea silently as I contemplated my next move. Win him back? That sounded like some cheesy story line for one of Jiraiya's smutty novels. Maybe I could sell him the story line when I saw him next? I could split the profit with Sasuke half way... although the bastard didn't need it. He was stinking rich anyways.

Another glance at Iruka and I knew he had slipped deeper into his thoughts. I piped up, "You know, you should just tell him you love him." Before I set my mug in the sink and left to the sounds of Iruka guffawing and boisterously denying that he knew who he should make such a confession to.

The night air was cool despite it being high summer. I shivered a bit and looked up both ends of the street before picking my way back to my apartment. Maybe if I slept on it some more, I'd know what to do... or everything would miraculously fix itself: Here's hoping.

I didn't bother with the lights as I went through the apartment, pealing off my clothes as I went and dropping them behind me like breadcrumbs. Into my bed, I crawled under the covers and shivered as the cool linen touched my flesh. I buried deeper down, wishing that I could just sink into the mattress.

I was torn from a sleep that I had no recollection of falling into. I yanked the knotted blankets away from my legs and looked around my dark room, wondering what it was that had woken me up. I stood cautiously with kunai in hand and slipped from the room, into the living room. The patio door was open. I crept forward and slid it closed.

Strong arms wrapped around my body, one of them pinning my hand that had the kunai. I didn't fight but let those soft, long-fingered hands pry the weapon away from me. It clattered to the floor and slid to a rest beneath my bookshelf. I didn't have to turn to know who it was. His smell tantalized my nose and my heart skipped a beat as his name flashed in my mind.

"Don't move, Naruto." He husked, his lips so close to my ear that the brushed against my earlobe.

I didn't move. I stood as still as death as those hands wandered over my body. Finally, when they rested on my hips, holding me flush against his body, I found my voice. "What the hell are you doing, bastard?" I hissed between clenched teeth.

A hot mouth brushed against the side of my neck and like someone had pulled the stopper from the sink, all of the anger drained out of me. I leaned back against his hard body, feeling his hands ease until they merely rested against my bare skin. Teeth nipped, jerking at my senses. I gasped as a warm tongue brushed against the small spot he had just bitten.

"I'm not going to let you go, Naruto. Never. Ever." Each word was emphasized with a kiss planted on either side of my neck. "I've had just a glimpse... a taste of you... and I thought that it would be enough. But it's not." He hissed, sounding frustrated.

With my mind and my body mashing into one conclusion, I turned in his arms and stared into his trouble eyes. I watched every nuance and every shift for an indication that he was being deceptive. With Sasuke it had always been hard to tell. Voting against words, I leaned in and took a deep breath through my nose before lightly kissing the firm line of his lips. He tasted of something spicy that he had eaten before coming to see me.

As if the floodgates had been thrown open, I found his arms wrapped tightly around my body. He kissed me with a ferocity that made me feel completely consumed. Gasping for breath against his lips, I pushed against his chest to give myself room to breathe and to think. "Don't think, just don't think Naruto. Don't you fucking think." He hissed, his hands tangling themselves painfully in my hair. He tugged roughly on my head, causing me to wince as he repeated those words like a mantra. A spell against his thoughts that I could only assume were saying the same things mine were.

I found myself pushed against the couch and he straddled my legs. Our teeth clacked together, cutting tongues and bruising lips as we fought against the flow of our thoughts. I could feel myself, every fibre of my being screaming out to find a wholeness with him that I knew would never be possible with anyone else. This was my glimpse of heaven, encased in the lithe, beautiful body of my best friend.

He pushed back my head and seared a path of kisses down the side of my neck. His teeth nipped the beating pulse trapped in the confines of my skin. My heart thudded wildly against my ribs as his hands pushed away the material of my pyjamas to reveal more skin that craved his touch. A small sound, soft and pleading, fell from my lips as he bent his torso sinuously to touch a nipple with his mouth.

Tentatively, his hands traced patterns across my body that I tried to interpret. My addled mind wouldn't cooperate and I gave in with another cry as those same hands slipped beneath the waistband of my pyjama pants. I arched my back, feeling the pain of pleasure as his fingers deftly teased me. Wanting so much more contact than just his hand, I grabbed the hem of his dark shirt and threw it over his head. He laughed at my eagerness and I grinned back as my arms wrapped around his neck and tugged him against me.

"I'm going to stop thinking now, so I'm sorry if this gets a bit rough." I heard myself say, my voice husky with need as I pushed him off of my lap. He fell back onto the hardwood floor and soon, I followed him, straddling his body and pushing him down to lie on the floor. I licked a solid line from just above the waist of his pants, below his navel, all the way up to his collarbone. I bit down on the pulse in his neck, feeling it trapped between my teeth. The scary, destructive part of me wanted to bite down harder but I opened my mouth slowly and blew softly into the delicate shell of his ear before tracing its curve with the tip of my tongue.

"Naruto!" Sasuke hissed and with the sinuous move of his torso, had me pinned down on the floor. With a triumphant look in his dark eyes, he claimed my mouth and promptly swallowed back the protests I had intended to voice.

Hands pushed away at restrictive material and with it, inhibitions that left me distracted. I found myself pressed down on the cool hardwood floor with my legs spread apart. I cried out, grinding myself painfully into the discarded cloth of my pyjama top as his mouth, hot and wet, brushed the inside of my thigh. I found his name torn from my mouth, dark and pleading as his tongue followed the cleft my ass.

"Can't do this here… bedroom, Naruto." Sasuke muttered breathlessly against my leg before turning me over and scooping me up as if I weighed mere ounces. I kissed the delicate expanse of his neck, fascinated with his pulse thudding against my lips. I smiled against it before I found myself laid gently on my bed, the twisted blankets pushed away. I glanced up at him, his countenance afire with the silvery light of the moon. I wasn't quite sure what I looked like to him but what I saw in his eyes made my heart stop. The breath that came in fast, small gasps caught in my throat as he stood silently, impartial to the cool breeze that caused the curtains to sway behind him. I reached up, impatient and slightly self-conscious to pull him down to me. I needed him to wash away the self-doubt and awakening the already dwindling fires that he had kindled in the living room.

The palms of his hands were rough with calluses. They grated against my hypersensitive skin, a delicious torment that caused me to arch up and mash my chest into his, craving more and more of him. I couldn't believe the extent of my hopelessness. I was plummeting, spiralling into the depths of an insanity that I couldn't believe that I was embracing. "Sasuke!" I cried out raggedly as he yanked away the cloth that restrained my erection. I whimpered softly in anticipation as those rough hands grasped my hard shaft. He ran his thumb over the head, already slick with precum causing more jolts of pleasure to run up and down my spine.

"I won't be able to stop." He warned, his voice husky and ragged.

"Don't." I said, feeling panic bubble in my stomach. "Don't stop." I clutched his shoulders and squeezed, digging my fingers into taut muscle as he pulled down his shorts.

TBC


	6. Final Chapter

AN: You might have noticed that this chapter is really short. It is the last chapter... I had sort of intended to make the fifth chapter the last and I thought that I could pull off one more chapter but no matter how much I wrote, I was never satisifed. with it. Three re-writes! Three! And this one is the one I am very happy with, despite it's length. I know it seems rushed but I sort of had a rule that smut shouldn't appear more than once in a story before it turns into unpretentious penthouse letter material and that wasn't what I had wanted for this story.

Thank you to everyone who faithfully stuck with it, despite my slow updates. >.> I appreciate all the feedback that I got from this story... I hope that I will see you all again soon. X3 hugs and smewches to you all!

_You are like a flower_

_That bloomed in a dark shadow_

_Even though you're in a place you didn't wish to be,_

_You can't move because of your roots_

_Just spit out your closed-up feelings_

_I'll accept all of your pain and suffering_

_So please don't cry_

_Please smile, single flower_

**Ichirin no Hana**

By High and Mighty Color

I was still at a loss of words from what happened. I sighed and leaned heavily against my hand, elbow planted firmly on the table that filled the distance between us. Sasuke sat with his coffee in the same state as mine, untouched. Neither of us wanted to move, I think it was out of fear of shattering the delicate peace between us. Dueling emotions battled in my brain, one wanted to be left alone to think the situation out in full, while the other wanted to crawl across the table and have a recap of the night's events. So far, the first was winning and I was embarrassed to think that Sasuke could pick up on it.

I hadn't bothered to put on a shirt, as it was hot out I wore only my pyjama pants. Sasuke was just as naked, sitting at my kitchen table with just his pants on. From where I was sitting, I could still see where his clothes had been abandoned the night before.

"Are you regretting what happened?"

I stared at him and debated telling him the truth. Since it was against my nature to lie, I gave a small nod.

"Why?"

Why, indeed. I pondered that question as I finally picked up my abandoned cup and sipped the now frigid coffee. My regret stemmed from fear. That was as far as I could understand it. Fear from what? The logical part of my brain asked me but I couldn't think of an answer. "What now?" I blurted and realized after asking it, that that was the answer to my fear.

A fine, dark eyebrow lifted over serious eyes. "That's a stupid question, dobe."

"Why is that so stupid?" I snapped, suddenly hating that patronizing tone he always talked to me in. How could I think that things would change after what had just happened? This was Sasuke I was talking about. He didn't change unless it was his inclination to do so and he wasn't much inclined to do anything.

"You always ask stupid questions and for someone who is supposed to be brave, you get scared over the dumbest things." Sasuke's words needled me. "And that last one is just a recent development."

"Shut up, bastard." I snapped, slamming my cup down on the table. I wanted to fight him. I wanted to kick his ass. I wanted to tear him apart but at the same time, I wanted to kiss the little wrinkle he got between his eyebrows when he became sardonic.

He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his naked chest. "Things will never change, will they, dobe?"

"No." I huffed, but glad that I had said so.

"I don't want things to change. So I guess in saying that, the 'What now?' question is a bit stupid, right?"

"I guess." I muttered, still avoiding his eye. Was that what I really wanted? I wanted Sasuke to go on his merry way without a price to pay for the things we've done. There was an irrevocable turn in our sordid friendship and he wanted to deny it. A piece of me wanted to deny it too, go back to the ways I was accustomed to but that would never create change and if one thing was painfully apparent to me, it was that things needed to change. It is human nature to avoid change at all costs, to dislike and perhaps even fear the unknown, but I couldn't allow this occasion to go unnoticed. I stared at Sasuke, watching him as he stared impassively at the cup his hands were curled around.

"I can't accept it, Sasuke." I blurted.

He looked up and frowned. "What?"

"There's a price to pay for what we just did… and I have to pay it. We both do. We can't pretend that nothing happened."

"So what do you want from me, Naruto? My undying confession of love?" His eyes flashed angrily, "My soul? My body? My every thought and the spaces between it?" He yelled.

I stood up and leaned heavily on the table, glaring at him. "So what if I do?" My gaze narrowed, I could feel the heat of anger flushing my skin. "You just want to be fuck buddies? You come over here and use me whenever you get that itch? I think I deserve better than that--- we both do."

The chair fell backwards and crashed to the ground; Sasuke was stalking across the floor and scooping up his clothing as he went. I got up, anticipating his route to the door and threw a hand out, slamming him in the chest harder than I had intended. He reeled backwards out of shock and stood glaring at me, his chest heaving in indignation. "I'm not letting you out of here." I bit out, unable to unclench my jaw as anger surged over me. I narrowed my eyes and reigned in my rage. "Drop me like dead weight the moment you get scared."

"I'm not scared. You are being a woman." He crossed his arms over his naked chest, resuming his usual 'better than thou' stance, stare included.

"You don't know how to do anything but use people for your own means!" I snapped back, the skin over my knuckles itched to connect with the proud jut of his chin.

He erased the distance between us with three sweeping steps and his chest hit mine, slamming me back against the table. I reached backwards to brace myself as one of his hands came up and caught my chin, forcing me to face him. He was angry, his eyes glinted scarlet as he fought the vehemence riding through his blood. "I can't get you out of my head. I haven't been able to get you out of my head since I saw you down on the dock years ago. I have loved you from that moment on. I can't stand the thought of you touching anyone else." With each confession, he shook my head and tightened his grip until finally I couldn't keep from wincing. My hands seemed to be cemented to the worn surface of my table, I found myself unable to move. "Are you happy? Are you satisfied? Is that what you wanted to hear? I've been obsessing about you since I laid eyes on you." His mouth crashed down on me, bruising my lips as his hips pinned mine against the table. It wasn't a sweet kiss; there was a pent up frustration and a fury that flayed my senses and dominated any reasoning that threatened to blossom in my brain.

My reality seemed to tilt on its axis and everything went sliding off. I found myself pinned down on the table by Sasuke, his hands yanking away my pants. "S-sasuke!" I gritted out, too scared to say anything else.

A hand clamped over my mouth as he pushed himself into me, heedless of the damage that he could have caused us both. I bucked back against the pain that went off like fireworks in my brain. Our breath mingled, raspy gasps of pain turned to soft moans as his body slammed into mine in a ruthless, careless rhythm. Hands combed roughly through my hair, yanking it hard and forcing my head back to bare the entire length of my throat to his hot mouth.

His teeth clamped down on my pulse as his hips worked furiously. I was going to have bruises across my backside as the table gouged me. I didn't care. The pain seemed to lose it's potency in the rush of passion that washed over us both.

"Mine." He growled against my skin, his body convulsing as he succumbed to orgasm. I could feel the hot warmth of his seed spread over my body. I lay holding him, shivering in the face of such a violent display of emotion. Unaware of the tears that spilled down my cheeks until a hand brushed them away, I looked up into dark eyes that were still serious and held only a glint of anger. "This is what you've done to me. I've been turned into a monster by every person I've loved and why should you be any different." He whispered softly, pulling away from me.

"Shut up with that bullshit!" I barked, lashing out with every intention of punching him. I was surprised that I had gotten a hit in, since I was in such a weak and emotional state. He doubled over my fist and dropped to his knees, gasping for air. "Don't talk to me of monsters. You have a choice to be human or a monster. It's easier and less painful for you to become a monster in order to protect yourself. You are so fucking selfish. You always have been. Everything has been about you and what you want." I stood naked, aroused and sticky with things that shouldn't be mentioned but hardly vulnerable. I glared down my nose at him as he stood, weaving on his feet. "At least you have a fucking choice." I shoved him.

He fell backwards and as he did, grabbed my wrist to yank me down with him. We hit the floor painfully, elbows, knees and heads smashing into the floor. When finally the inertia stopped, we lay listening to each other's breath. My chest felt tight. My body felt flushed and thoroughly abused. I wanted a shower but I couldn't move. I didn't want to in fear of giving him the opportunity to walk out without being convinced of my feelings. "Alright, Naruto. Shut up. Stop bitching at me. You are such a fucking woman." He scoffed, his hands gently pushing away the hair that hung limply over my forehead.

I pushed myself away from him and stood up, glaring down at him contemptuously. "You really are a sanctimonious bastard."

"And your point is what?" He sniffed, looking more like a cat whose tail had just been stepped on rather than a man who had confessed his undying love for me.

"Ungrateful bastard." I looked over my shoulder as my hands danced across the wheals the corner of the table had left. A hand caught mine, his lips pressed against one large welt, causing the blood that wasn't already in my nether regions to make a beeline in that direction.

I realized something, then and dropped to my knees. "Since you said it, I guess I got to say it too, huh?" I asked.

"Che, like I need any reassurance from an idiot like you."

Crossing my arms, I nudged him with my shoulder and was suddenly very aware of our naked state and my rather aroused one. I shifted uncomfortably. "I hate you."

"Fine by me, moron." He muttered, his mouth painting a hot path from collarbone to…

OWARI


End file.
